The Cullens go to Borders
by ALiSON.PLOWY.STALTSON.JACOBY
Summary: Bella, Edward, Alice, and Emmett decide to go to the bookstore! What do they see that blows their mind? You’ve gotta read to find out!


Hah. I thought of this last night… thought I could have some fun with it. It's just a one shot, obviously. But that doesn't make it less… good!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or Borders. And Harry Potter too. (:

peaceouts&review!

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Bella- Hey Edward.

Edward- Hello Dear.

Emmett- Yo Eddie! Bell! ((fist punch thing))

Alice- Hi everybody! Guess what we're doing today! No guessing, Edward!

Emmett- Bowling!!?

Alice- ((sigh)) Not after what happened last time…

Bella- ((sigh)) Shopping… again?

Alice- I've got to keep up on the latest fashions! I need to get my hands on a pair of those snazzy lime green jeans!

Emmett- ((snort)) You said snazzy…

Alice- Grow up, Emmett! And no, we're going to the bookstore!

Edward- No thank you, Alice.

Alice- C'mon, Eddie! It'll be fun!

Bella- Yeah, Edward. I've got to pick up the latest issue of Spazz Illustrated. and I think I need a new copy of Wuthering Heights…

Edward- Honestly, dear. You need to read some other books. You know I'd buy you any book in the world. ((dreamy dazzlingness))

Bella- Oh, Eddie-kinz… ((lost in dazzlingness))

Emmett- ((girly, mocky voice)) yeah, really eddie-kinz???

Edward- Stop that, Emmett. And don't call me that.

Alice- Enough talking! It's decided! Let's go!!

Bella- Wait. Barnes and Noble or Borders?

Alice- ((grabs piece of paper, and starts scribbling))

Edward- Is she seizing??

Emmett- ((cups hands around mouth)) Emergency! Emergency! Get the straight jacket! Grab the Epi-Pen! We need backup, PRONTO!

Edward & Bella- ((shake heads))

Bella- ((looks at Alice's drawing)) I know that ballet studio!

Alice- ((frown)) it's Borders….

Bella- Oh.

Emmett- Borders it is!

((drive to bookstore))

Bella- Let's go to the front desk to find out where I can find my book.

Worker- ((too cheerful)) Hi there! How may I help you?

Emmett- ((nudges Edward)) check it! ((points to gift cards rack))

Edward- ((picks up twilight giftcard)) Only a vampire can love you forever…

Emmett- dude, dude, we're vampires.

Edward- Oh. I didn't know that. Really? ((sarcastic tone))

Emmett-No need to be pushy…

Edward- As if you could outrun me… ((flips card over and sees a picture)) Hey, it's the guy from Harry Potter.

Emmett- Harry?

Edward- No… the other one.

Emmett- Ron?

Edward- No, the good looking one.

Emmett- Neville?

Edward- ((irritated)) No… I think he's a Hufflepuff.

Emmett- oh! ((snaps fingers)) Luna Lovegood!

Edward- ((sigh)) Luna is a GIRL, and a Ravenclaw, not a Hufflepuff.

Emmett- I love. I just wanted you to say Hufflepuff again. ((snicker))

Edward- Anyway, it's the guy who dies.

Emmett- Oh! Cedric Diggory!

Edward- That's it! Why is he on a gift card…?

Worker- ((excited)) Oh, R-Pattz? He is, like, SO HOT, don't you think? He is like the best actor EVER! And the way his hair is all SHOO, its just WOW! I think he is the best Edward Cullen they could have possibly found….

((jaws drop))

Bella- Who?

Worker- Edward Cullen, silly! Just about the hottest vampire ever! He's in a book called Twilight! It's about a girl who moves to Forks and meets Edward and they fall in love and then they get married and have a kid and Bella-

Bella- There's a character named Bella??!?!

Worker- Chyea! Anyway… Bella turns into a vampire too! You can check out the display! It's right over there!

Edward- Err… thank you for your help… ((looks at nametag)) … Sarah.

Sarah- sure! anything about twilight! I just love Twilight… and Edward… Jacob sucks…

Bella- ((glances at Edward))

Sarah- … I'm Team Eddie, obviously..

Emmett- That's what I call him too! ((points at Edward))

Sarah- Your name is Edward?? ((gushes)) That's like the coolest name ever…

Edward- Err… we've got to go now…

Sarah- 'Kay! Toodles!

((walk over to display))

Alice- O-M-C! Why didn't I see this coming?

Edward- I guess because we hadn't made the decision of where we were going until last minute.

Emmett- SWEET! ((grabs a button with Rob Pattinson's picture on it)) I'm SO getting this!! ((picks up a button with Kristen Stewart's picture)) AND THIS!!

Bella- Ohmygod. They don't even look like us…

Edward- Of course they don't, dear. You look much more beautiful than that.

Alice- More importantly…. Where's MY button???

Emmett- What is this?? ((picks up a big rolled up paper))

Bella- It looks like a poster!

Emmett- ((unrolls it)) Whoah dude! Look at all these people!!

Alice- That's us!!

Emmett- I look so totally weird, dude. Then again, nobody could pull _this_ off. ((gestures at self))

Bella- ((rolls eyes)) Look at you, Alice!

Alice- O-M-C! I wouldn't be caught DEAD with that outfit! And look at my Jazzy-poo! He looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

Emmett- ((had unrolled another poster)) Look at this, Bella! It's a picture of Jacob!

Bella- It is!! ((laughs)) I _have_ to get this for him.

Edward- Not that I'm not at all thrilled that our covers have been blown, and our lives have been sold to Summit, but am I the only one who finds this a little odd??

Bella- You're right, Eddie-kinz. We really shoul- Oh, look at this!! It's a… "Alice's choker".

Alice- ((gasp)) I would NEVER wear that hideous thing!!

Emmett- LOOK, EDDIE! It's a DOLL!!

Bella & Alice- LOL!! O-M-C!!!

Edward- Oh, dear god. Just rip off my head and throw me into a fire.

Alice- That could be arranged…

Bella- C'mon Eddie, it's not that bad… It looks kinda of…. nice.

Edward- It's plastic, dear.

Bella- Well then it's sort of like you- cold and hard.

Emmett- Of course! YOU have a doll, and don't even appreciate it! I, on the other hand, would _die_ for my own doll.

Alice- O-M-C, who cares about a doll? **I** have my own SHIRT!!!

Bella- OMM! Cool!

Emmett- OMM?

Bella- Oh My Mike.

Emmett- Right.

Alice- Even if that actress looks nothing like me, I've still got my own shirt!!

Bella- That's so cool, Alice.

Alice- YEAH it is!! I'll be the latest fashion! ((squeal))

Edward- ((shakes head)) We should have gone to Barnes and Noble…

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haha. stupid, huh? but I had fun. remember to review! they make me superly happy!

and check out my other stories!

peaceouts&review!


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